I thought I’d take a break from home decor to talk about my other great love: fashion. That’s right, folks, I’m also hot for haute couture. Actually, I’m just as thrifty when it comes to clothing. “Haute couture” only exists in my vocabulary by default of being married to my Euro hubby.
So what force of evil made me temporarily abandon my love for all things home and furniture?
Oh H&M, you are the devil. As much as I try to avoid this might-as-well-be-whiskey retail giant, I have a weakness for them. My latest episode was provoked by the above jumpsuit about a month ago: a chic one piece creature of style and comfort for the UNBELIEVABLE PRICE (imagine Bill Mays’ — RIP — voice) OF JUST $19.95. “Jumpsuit” and “$19.95” is probably the most killer combination for me next to “all-you-can-eat” and “$9.95.” But seriously folks…
This can’t be real! I immediately clicked to purchase it when I realized it was — to my retail horror – SOLD OUT (the sad trombone played). I called customer service and talked to someone probably in Arkansas who said, ohhhh, yeah, the blue jumpsuit…. as if to tell me, you don’t stand a chance of ever owning it, woman. And so began my tedious search for the elusive blue jumpsuit.
I started by doing what most people in pursuit of something rare would do: pour a glass of wine and charge my phone battery. Calling every store within a 50 mile radius only to have a gum smacking sales associate tell me that they don’t have this jumpsuit in their store yet was more disappointing than the finale of “The Sopranos.”
I decided to let it go. My OCD behavior only lasts a short while usually so it wasn’t until last weekend when the devil reared its ugly (but oh-so-chic and perfect for spring!) head again. So the phone calls started all over again. This time, I was told by the same San Francisco stores that they received the shipment but that they sold out within a day. I am not giving up on this, I thought. It’s not about the jumpsuit anymore, is it? my alter ego responded.
Enough rambling……my search ended when Serramonte Mall came through for me. Daly City, you’re no longer the fog infested town that I only drive through to get to Fort Funston or pick up Chinese groceries. You’ve become my fashion buoy!
So was it all worth it? You be the judge. In what may be construed as an act of self-image suicide, I’m about to show you what it looks like on a normal, non-model, non-airbrushed person who weighs more than 92 pounds, is shorter than most of you, and actually eats more than 800 calories a day.
(Notice my DIY planter with my thriving lot of succulents.) (Why didn’t I stick one knee out like the model so I don’t look like I’m about to pee?)
It’s very blousy and flowy and the crotch extends much further down than I’m used to (and probably needs to be hemmed like every piece of clothing I’ve ever owned), but overall, it’s super comfy. It’s also made from rayon, which is a fabric that is skin and hair friendly to me (I can’t do polyester or silk because I end up looking like Static Crazed Woman).
There are a few left at Serramonte if you live in the Bay Area. Call them and have them hold one for you (they can do a 24-hour hold). A note about sizing: mine is a 34 (or US size 4). It runs BIG so even the 34 is big on me (which is weird because H&M does not practice vanity sizing unlike its US retail counterparts). I’ve never been able to fit into a 32 in anything of theirs, but I suspect it might have been a better fit had it been in stock.
A little ironing, accessorizing with big sunglasses and a yellow clutch, and I’ll be ready for….wearing my jumpsuit with big sunglasses and carrying a yellow clutch.